I like cheese and I don’t care
Edam, Brie or Camembert
Soft or Hard, Red or White
To set your tasting buds alight.

Yes there’s a woman, made of cheese
With dairylee instead of knees
Her bosoms, soft and pert and pale
Are made of finest wensleydale

I tried to fight the urge to eat
But had to taste her cheddar feet
I had nightmares when I went to bed
I dreamt of a giant otter head

I had no teeth, I had 12 eyes
I had a fight with tie dyed flies
I woke as the trees began to purr,
I never should have eaten her.