Well, last night was fun -- the gig was tough but some of the poems went down well. I started with 3 old poems I've been doing on stage on and off for a while (Cheese Poem, Childhood Poem and Sauron's Rap) and the did Hedgehog, an abridged version of The Noggly Noo, A couple of limerics (the one from 100 days project and an old one), the Hansel & Gretel poem, Unlucky For Some and A Pre-Emptive Apology To My Unborn Child. I think of all of them, the apology went down the best. H&G and Unlucky aren't funny enough for a straight stand-up night but the rest did pretty well.

So onto today, I've had a request for the mouse to get his own back (after the poor mouse yesterday got attacked by a cat and then eaten by an owl). So this one is for Johnny Nigma. It's a Tanka (similar to a Haiku but different syllable structure - 5,7,5,7,7).

A Mouse.
There once was a mouse
Almost as big as a house
When he saw a cat
The squeak would reverberate
So loud that the cat would shake.

I'm writing this one with the intention of submitting it to a magazine that I have found. Not for any reason other than that it gives me a breif to work to (which I think is good practice) and I thought of an idea I like. The theme is Liberate. I think the magazine may be looking for more political stuff than this, but I can't help being a silly soul, so here it is. However, thinking about it - this poem could be an allegory for the Iraq war (or it's just a whimsical poem about a mouse).

Fear Not, I Will Save You!
My cat caught a creature,
But what has it found?
A mouse in the kitchen.
The cat circles round.

Fear not, I will save you!
I said to the mouse.
As the cat went stir-crazy
And tore up the house.

Take out a container,
I tempt the mouse in.
It makes a small squeak
As I cover the tin.

My cat caught a creature,
And look what it found.
The cat makes a growling
"Give me it" sound.

I go out the front door
Down into the wood
Let the mouse free and
It makes me feel good.

As I walk away, a sound turns me round
And a see a large owl as it swoops to the ground.

I might move all of these poems into their own section on the website (www.owenniblock.com if you're reading this in Google Wave) as they're rapidly becoming an end in themselves and I think they deserve their own space. Today's poem is an attempt at a humorous poem as I'm doing some poetry at a comedy night in Cardiff tomorrow and a lot of my poetry seems to become accidentally serious!

This one is various thoughts about the problems little Qwerty (due June 2nd) may face.

A Pre-Emptive Apology To My Unborn Child
Sorry if you get my nose
I know it's rather long.
Sorry if all of my friends
Now call you Qwerty
Sorry if you get teased at school
Because your last name is Niblock
Sorry if your peers discover
That Niblock is an anagram.
Sorry that the letters make
The two words lick and nob.
Sorry if you get my memory
As it is short and wanes with age.

(My friends say that I'm like a goldfish.
I'll go upstairs for something,
And when I get there...
Long dangly poo.)

Sorry if you get my sense of humour
I know it's slightly odd.
Sorry if you get my ability with the Ladies.
No-one deserves that.
Sorry if you get my penis size,
Especially if you're a girl.
I hope we instill enough love and enough wonder
To render these worries asunder.