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Work has been hanging heavy on my heart these past few weeks but I've been keeping to my poem a day (just not had time to upload them until now). So here they are, I can't remember what order they should be in, and I hope I've got them all! I think my favourite of this lot if Finsbury Park or Nation. I've not done today's yet. Will write it later. #49 - Take My Wife
Take my wife
Shake her about
It makes her fizz
It makes her shout. Take my wife
Put her in the post
Send her first class
To a city on the coast. Take my wife
Hide her in a bush
They'll never find her
If you make her hush.
Take my wife
Put her in a pie
Et viola
Wife pie. #50 - Magic Beans
A man sold me some magic beans
Those beans, I then did sow.
And in the ground a massive plant
Decided it would grow.
I climbed the stalk and at the top
My weight, it took its toll
I landed on the floor because
A bean plant needs a pole. #51 - Addicted to Poetry
I'm addicted to poetry
I just cannot help myself
I write it - I read it
I want it - I need it
If Haiku was gas then I dare say I'd breathe it.
Yes I'm addicted to poetry
I find that I just cannot stop
As - through life I'm breezing
While others are freezing
In winter - the coldest of all of the seasons
I know I'm addicted to poetry
I feel it every hour
I know it - I know it
I show it - I show it
I find myself rhyming without cause or reasons. #52 - Staple Confusion
I got confused at Staples
and bought a steeple gun.
Now, In my office - stuck
Through several sheets of paper
Is a large and pointy roof.
Don't ask how it fits in there
Between the desk
Between the chair
It seems to flaunt the laws of Physics
And this stops me getting anywhere.
I went on-line for a solution
To this most bizarre conundrum.
But the websites are sold out
Of their steeple removers.
So in my office I remain trapped. #53 - On The Train
Sitting on the train to Birmingham
Trying not to get eye contact with anyone
Especially not them.
Please ignore me.
Drunken group of kids.
I know that my hat is an idiot magnet.
Perhaps I should try it on backwards? ----------------
It seems that did not have the desired effect.
Rather than repelling
Where it previously attracted.
It seems to increase
My lure to their "wit"
At least
I think to myself
They don't know my name.
So it isn't as bad as school days once were.
I try to explain
Why I turned round my hat.
It's a nice hat.
A bit like a Trilby.
They look confused.
And wonder if I'm calling them idiots.
But cannot grasp my words.
I thank the UK's education system.
As they pass me by to find more normal prey. #54 - It's a girl!
It's a girl
And I'm quite happy.
To comfort her
To change her nappy.
To go on trips
To magical lands.
To dance about
To wave our hands.
Two silly fools
Too excited to care.
Two adventurers go
To the dragon's lair.
To bed on time.
To eat your greens.
To teach you how
To chase your dreams.
To you:
Who-ever you might be.
I'm happy that you are a she. #55 - Finsbury Park.
In Finsbury Park there's a man in the dark.
Feeding pigeons to bread - but don't worry. They are dead.
Bread shapes gather round and emit this strange sound.
Like a flump and a sigh but I'm not quite sure why.
Then as I get near they suddenly hear
And they crumble away, out of sight. Out of fear.
The man shuffles off, with a limp and a cough
He escapes to the night under trees and lamp light.
But I swear, as we wait in the late evening hush...
I see a baguette running under a bush. #56 - Nation.
We are a nation of wants instead of needs.
Replacing hopes with insane greeds.
A monster of disproportionate consumption
A behemoth operating under one assumption.
The more we take, the more we feel fulfilled.
And so we make. We make until our raw materials have been distilled.
And still -- we want for more and more.
Even though we lack the room to store
The unsold bile excreted from the factory floor.
Made in bulk to lower cost.
Sold en mass to downcast shadows of people feeling lost.
We need food. We need clothes and a place to live.
We need happiness, love and the capacity to give.
We don't need this product driven isolation.
This sense of soul's pure desolation.
So - for my birthday - I'd like a smile.
To go out - perhaps - to walk a while.
I'd like a birdsong in the morning sun.
To watch a squirrel climb and run.
That's my aim. My dream. My plan.
If I get it, I'll be as rich as any man. #57 - Candle.
You are a candle in the wind.
Pointless.
You're the apple of my eye.
It stings.
You swept me off my feet.
I bruise easily.
I see you in my dreams.
Nightmares. #58 - I am removing you from my Facebook.
I am removing you from my Facebook.
It's not that I don't like you.
I do.
It's just all those bloody applications.
Things you like. Things you don't.
Some inane and pointless quiz you took.
Maybe we can catch up in real life?
We'll go out for dinner.
Me and Jem and you and your wife.
And no.
I won't join your gang or start a farm.
Life is short enough.
I don't want to deal with all this fluff.
I've got enough gardening to do, without a cabbage field to tend.
So,
Here we are.
I'm clicking unfriend.
Goodbye.
Send. #59 - Haiku Day
It's a haiku day.
I've been working much too hard.
And now I need beer. #60 - A wrong turn in the college
I took a wrong turn in the college,
And found myself in a strange room.
Where men with white faces
Who stood in strange places
Were watching a man with a broom. I waited to see what was happening.
The man then took out a balloon.
He held it aloft
They all watched it waft
As I wondered if I should leave soon. When I left he was walking up stairs.
He got in a box which they locked.
The large wind machine
Was a little bit mean
As onto the floor he was knocked. When I got out it was raining.
The sign on the door said "Mime Training". #60b (Wrote an extra poem)
As the lights turned green
A school bus came my way
I applauded the driver.
F-off, he seemed to say. |
