So.. that's it. I've written a poem a day (sometimes 2) for 100 days. Time for a break! I'm going to go through the poems I've written and pick out the ones which show promise, edit them and then put up a poetry section on the site. The article I wrote for Square Magazine is out later this month and I'm appearing at the launch show for that at the poet's corner on the 17th of March.

I have to apologise for #98 - I put the pen to paper and that's what came out. It was meant to be about addiction to Warcraft and dedicated to our good friend Craig (Craig - if you still want the dedication - it's yours!) It's also the only poem I've written with any swearing in, well done me! 

So - here we go. The last 100 days update I'll ever do. It's been fun.

#87 - The Devil's Invention
They were invented by the devil
To torment our wretched souls
The tangling
Jangling
Evil triangles of despair.
Beelzebub's greatest triumph.
The coat hanger.

#88 - Half Arsed At Best
I'm not the same as you
My rhythms are half arsed at best
Phrases sometimes too
Compressed
Depressed
And often overstressed.
A poet without due care and attention
A speaker without grace or tension.
An oddity
Writing a strange and simple ditty.
Something weird but also pretty.

#89 - This Poem Contains Punnery
One of my wife's favourite things
Is a shelf in her parents' spare room
They run a shop
And the shelf contains stock
Including a box of old maps
Which says in large letters,
The prints of Wales.

#90 - When I came to
I lost my memory
For a number of years
Lost my family
Lost my peers
But when it came back
In a flash of white light
It gave me a pause
I gave me a fright
I wasn't a murderer
But something much worse
I was an estate agent
That was my curse.

#91 - The Key To My Heart
If you were the key to my heart
Could you lock it?
And then put the key deep
Down in your pocket?
It would help stop my feelings
From tumbling out
My hopes and my fears
My love and my doubt.

#92 - Jacuzzi
So, I got in the Jacuzzi
And the fizzy water frothed a bit
It was warm ___
Pleasant enough.
I was bored.
It was then
That my shorts
Began slowly to inflate.

#93 - P.O.P.
It's just
Perfectly Ordinary Paranoia
I tell myself.
As we walk down the promenade in Spain.
As people seem to stare at me
A look of blame
A look, of shame.

It's just
Perfectly Ordinary Paranoia
I whisper it
As we sit in the park eating cheese and bread
A man looks at me
And something is said
I don't understand
I smile
And I stand.

It's just
Perfectly Ordinary Paranoia
I tell him
He looks confused and walks away
People still look my way.
What did I say?
What, did I say?

#94 - The Ghost Of Bilbao
On the top deck
At ten forty five
The blackness envelopes
The whole space around me
I sit in the dark
Staring up at the stars
Lost to the world
Lost to my thoughts
"Evening"
A gruff voice to my left
A man sits beside me
Shrouded in shadow.
The moonlight picks out his large glasses
"Hello" I reply
I think that he smiles
As he leans slowly back
"Beautiful isn't it?"
He says to the dark
"Yes" I agree
"It makes me feel tiny, but also feel free."
He thinks for a moment
Before he speaks out
"We sent a ship
Amongst the stars"
I wonder if he works for NASA
Perhaps he means we as a race
Maybe he's a little disturbed
His icy words.
His icy words.

"We got to the edge...
What we thought was the edge
And it just carried on
More stars
More planets
We drifted, drifted."
I looked at him then
As the moon seemed to brighten
His skin seemed soft silver
In the white light
His eyes were full
Of tears and fright
It made me shudder
He turned and spoke
His cold dead eyes
Looked through my soul
"We found a planet
Rich and fertile
Perhaps a home.
Perhaps..."

He got up
And began to walk away
"Wait..."
I cried, "Who are you?"
He paused, his shoulders hung
"We are you.
We are linked.
Until you take us home.
Perhaps."

#95 - Under The Watchful Gaze Of Portland Bill
A sunny day
Under the watchful gaze of Portland Bill
A moment spent
Over the town
On the side of a hill
A sense of peace
When the world seems pure
When the world seems still
On a sunny day
Under the watchful gaze of Portland Bill.

#96 - South England Tour
Today we went to Doobly Door.
As part of my Daddies great South England Tour.
When Daddy saw the rock thing, he said it looked grand
But I just shrugged and kicked at the sand.
What does a big rock thing actually do?
And can we go back, cause I so need the loo!
Mum said that the hole was a secret doorway
To a magical land where the fishes all play.
But when I said that I wanted to go
Daddy looked angry at me and said "No!"
Anyway, I saw a bird going through
And it stayed in this world so it can't have been true.
And then Mummy gave me a massive ice-cream!
Like the ones I get in my dream.
That was the best bit, although later on
I did like the cake thing Mum said was a scone.

#97 - Don't Say It With Flowers
Don't say it with flowers
Say it with Fruit.
It's much more expressive
Much more unique.
An apple a day?
Well what does that mean?
It says that I wish you
The best of all health.
An orange can say
That it's time for a break
And nothing, but nothing
Says that I love you
Like a little Lychee.

#98 - Murloc Dreams
I dreamt I had sex with a Murloc.
The Murloc was wearing a rather nice frock.
And somehow that made it OK.
In some bizarre and intangible way.

I dreamt I had sex with a Murloc.
It pinned me against a cold hard wall of rock.
And somehow it got me to stay.
As I wondered if I was a love, or a lay.

I dreamt I had sex with a Murloc.
And as it slid up and down over my c*ck
I just couldn't help it, I started to pray
Oh god no, oh god yes, oh god please. Oh. I. Say.

And now when my wife
Wears her favourite dress
In red and in green
I don't fancy her less
I lust for her more
Press her up to the wall
And she does do a wonderful
Murloc cat call.

#99 (a) - 99
The only thing better
Than a 99 ice-cream
Is a double
99 ice-cream.
Or a 198.

#99 (b) - Pen-ultimate
I have in my hand
   The ultimate pen
It slays evil ghouls
   And defends honest men
I think that it's stronger
   Than all of your swords
It can in one stroke
   Destroy goblin hordes
But what it does most
   Yes, most of the time
Is think up a simple, innocuous rhyme.

#100 - The End